Open Up And Say AAaaahhhhh

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Sorry Lah

From:  Me Dear Sir / Ma’am, New post has been scheduled for next week. Please accept our humble apologies for slow updates. We are attempting to pay internet bills and coffee as soon as possible, you know times are bad. In the meantime, we hope that the strippers we have sent over to your house [...]

New Year Mini CON-test

Today is New Year eve and tomorrow is New Year, thus I give you this, for the first time, a mini-contest. Referring to the below picture, come up with your best title. For example, “The Incredible Giraffe”. Winners will be rewarded with one year supply of virgin turtles. Happy New Year people, hope you enjoy [...]

It Has Something To Do With Cats

Hey people! Zzup…I’m hypnotyzin’ dese clowns wen dey see me 20 ft abve da ground, And u in a coma, ain’t comin up out dat, cuz nigga diz iz C-town. Yeah, okay, I have no idea what the fux I just said up there, I think it’s some kinda rap lyric. Seriously. Anyway, I’m going [...]

iPhone Finale

I got my iPhone yesterday

The Honest Scrap Award

On top of that, the article is called “OS deathmatch,” yet the author cannot decide who wins. What the hell kind of crap is that? It’s like he brings a couple gladiators together and they end up holding hands. Lame. I read an article called “OS deathmatch,” yet the author cannot decide who wins. What the [...]

Did You Update Your Blog Today?

I keep checking back here to see if there’s a new post, and then I remember I’m the one who writes this horseshit. Nice. I’ll post something tomorrow, maybe, just maybe. OK latest by Friday.

Siapa Cakap Saya Tak Boleh Berbahasa – Raya Special Post

Open Up And Say AAaaaahhhhh mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri kepada semua pembaca yang beragama islam dan memohon maaf atas kelanjuran kata dan bahasa, yang tersepak, yang terpijak, yang terkutuk, yang terlempang, yang ter-selipar-Jepun dan segala yang ter-apa-apa. Kepada yang balik kampung, ingat, pandu selamat, jiwa selamat. Jangan jadi Mat Rempit dan ingatlah tapao ayam [...]

Some Kinda Blog Award

Okay, serious time people.  I’ve won a blog award and I just wanted to say thanks to Renaye. I really appreciate any blogger or anyone who reads this blog, it honestly humbles me. I know it seems all glamorous, updating a blog possibly 10 times per year and subsequently swimming in offers of oral sex [...]

Don’t Call This A Comeback

Boys and girls, I know I know, before you give me that look please allow me to explain. I know my domain expired and I didn’t renew it, well let just say it was a technical problem. In actuallity, I’m in the process of expanding this blog to a multi hosted site, which will allow [...]

Son Of A….So It’s Already The 500th Post

It appears that this is my 500th post here (warm applause and standing ovation everyone! Yah and fuxing ready those tomatoes! ) and seeing as I have 500 posts under my belt, I thought I’d take this opportunity to give an amazing drunken speech and shoutout. And oh yah, thanks for reading. Without you this [...]

The Prodigal Son

I like writing this blog. I’m not sure why but it probably has something to do with the dog shit I stepped on last nite. And let me tell you, it was not an ordinary dog shit but a huge dog shit which has never been encountered by any mankind. Trust me, that dog had [...]

Should I Continue?

I tend, on Open Up And Say AAaaahhhhh, to only discuss things in which I’m directly involved or opinions that are distinctly mine, because, well, obviously I’m a self obsessed egomaniac who thinks that everything should be about me! Yah I know it sux. Talking about myself on the internet is, after all, the only [...]

Live From KLIA – Happy Valentine’s Day

It’s Valentine’s Day. So if you’re reading this right now, I guess things didn’t go very well. Or you are just like me, single. And oh, I just got down from the plane and I’m in the airport now. Yes I am back in Malaysia! I wanted to post something real quick and wishing everyone [...]

Bangkok Here I Come

I would like to start off my blog today by announcing that “I AM FLYING OFF TO BANGKOK THIS SUNDAY”. For a  week. Business trip. If you have no idea where’s Bangkok, it means A) You are probably not a human being and B) You hate hippies of some kind. Both valid reasons. As I [...]

Happy Chinese New Year

A lot’s happened to us over the Christmas and New Year. First of all, yes, we have spent a lot of money and some even gained a lot of weight, thanks for noticing. And now we have another holiday. To everyone except the weird, the politicians, public masturbater and Jay Chow fans, Happy Chinese New [...]