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World’s Shortest Fairytale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, “Will you marry me?” The girl said “No” and she lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed skinny, and was never farted on. The [...]

The Drunk Genie

Let’s say two of your relatively close friends convince you to go Zoo Negara on a hot weekend even though you tell them that you’d rather poke Osama Bin Laden on FaceBook. Upon arriving at the zoo, the weather is so hot and one of your friend complains about how he misses the cold snowing [...]

Cheap Skate

A good friend of mine came back from Hong Kong the other day and bought me this Tshirt. And just the other day, Donz came over to my place for tea session. Me : Dude, check out this Tshirt. Cool huh? Donz:  Dude, how old are you la? those tshirts are for kids la, get [...]

This Sux Donkey Balls – I Can’t Write Anymore.

In this computer age, handwriting is becoming a lost art. I am ashamed to say this, but I’ve been out of school for so many years, and I haven’t been able to write in cursive for years. Also, I’ve been behind a computer for so many years now without having to do any writing. I [...]

The Day I Got My First Porn Magazine

I was in Form 3 and one day after school, my friend borrowed me one of his most prized possessions. A PLAYBOY magazine. Obtaining a porn magazine was always a problem and it was an adult title that was tantalizingly unavailable to kids like us. So when someone willing to borrow me, I could never [...]

How To Run A 10km Marathon?

I would like to start off my blog today with a saying from a well known movie. “Life is like a box of chocolates…and chocolates taste like my toe*”. The toe part is bullshit. It’s from the wise film Forrest Gump and I think Forrest Gump had a cool name. Inspired by this movie, I [...]

What The Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic [...]

I Feel Like An Asshole ( Self Motivation Post )

I think I’m on my period today. I can’t really think of another explanation for why I’m feeling like this now. Like, I feel like crap, I think I have compulsions that are out of my control, I don’t really want to live but at the same time I can’t die and I feel like [...]

Wedding Bells

I got a “red bomb” a couple of days ago. My friend is marrying his girlfriend of 10 years. Ten years, can you imagine that? Everyone is getting hitched, a lot of them, one by one, I think age is catching up fast. I’m sweating just thinking about it. I am not sweating because of [...]

Karma Is A Bitch

Some time ago, I was watching a live telecast football match with some of my ex colleagues at his apartment. You know when a group of football fans get together it involves a lot of hoo-ha and shouting during the match. And a lot of cursing too, “Oi shoot the fuxing ball la! wallow eh!”. [...]

TV Series Obsession

I haven’t been watching a full TV series for a long long time. I don’t have much time for TV. You know the work, friends, yamcha and beer just keep me busy and when I do sit down to watch TV, there’s always a live telecast football match that I would rather see. When I [...]

Thai Girls Don’t Dig Me

This is another post about my trip to Bangkok and I promise this will be the last post on this subject. If you’ve been to Bangkok or at least heard some stories about it, you know why men brand them as “paradise“. Like every tourist destination in Thailand, Bangkok has a flourishing scene of bar [...]