Don’t you get the feeling that if Michael Jackson had somehow been able to come out of his terrible upbringing without being so troubled, everything would be a little bit better? Michael Jackson is like our childhood icon, our idol. I know he was weird, I couldn’t figure out if he was black or white [...]

I really need to stop using the word “porn” and “fux” in my blog posts. Some of the searches that bring people to my blog are just wrong. There’s some real freaks out there but the other day I saw something that intrigued me. The search term that brought them to my site was “protective [...]

I used to have a very very long hair. Don’t believe? Below you see an unclear pictures of what appears to be a handsome male with black and sexy long hair. Keep in mind that these pictures were taken when I was in college and sometimes I like to pull faces just for kicks. So, [...]

It’s Friday! Time to stuff our faces with alcohol we can’t afford and our crotches with people we just met. Let’s get back to the important stuff. Like sex and beers. So anyway, someday, I want to have kids. No I’m not married yet and girls, feel free to write to me. It’s not that [...]

I don’t know bout you people but I like karaoke. It’s really fun. I have the ability to sing, well not like Adam Lambert but I think I am pretty close. If you’ve ever been in a karaoke and you hear a clear, strong voice penetrating the nite with one of Bon Jovi’s greatest hits, [...]

My parents couldn’t decide on a name so they introduced me as “baby” for the first few days of my life. I sometimes have flashbacks when I’m at the bar and all the ladies are coming up and saying, “Hey Baby”. I always want to ask them how they know that story but I’m too [...]

When you’ve been blogging for a certain period of time you hit the No More Ideas wall. It’s kind of like when you go on date number five with someone you really like and realize that you burned through all of your good stories on dates one through four and that you better distract her [...]

It appears that this is my 500th post here (warm applause and standing ovation everyone! Yah and fuxing ready those tomatoes! ) and seeing as I have 500 posts under my belt, I thought I’d take this opportunity to give an amazing drunken speech and shoutout. And oh yah, thanks for reading. Without you this [...]

I’m not a big believer in dreams but as ridiculous as it may sounds I do think dreams mean something. Maybe it’s the Chinese in me. I’ve always wanted to dream of The Planet of Large Breasted Stewardesses with an Easy Going Attitude but no, not this time. Last nite, I dreamt of a girl, [...]

When I was in high school, I briefly entertained the idea of becoming a rock star. I fueled this idea by forming a band named Damage INC which practiced four hundred and fifty times and then broke up.  I think it had something to do with the fact that because I had no musical talent [...]

What do you mean by you don’t like it? No, it’s not a shame! Didn’t you hear? We’re all supposed to be “Malaysia Boleh”, apa pun boleh. It’s not about what anyone likes, it’s about sacrificing our comfort, our prosperity, and our way of life to benefit our country. The country demands sacrifice! Now, start [...]

1.  I’m too busy solving a goddamn mystery. 2. I’m sitting on my couch doing a lot of nothing and I can’t stop smelling my armpits. And let me tell you – they smell terrible. 3.  My dog ate it. I don’t have a dog. 4. I accidentally watch porn on iTunes and all my [...]