The preceding predictions may contain hyperbole and derision, substances which the Hospital Kampung Jagung has determined can cause cancer and advanced stages of whining. By reading this post, you agree to the following: a) you are opting in to reading it, you agree not to hold the writer responsible for your personal wretchedness, b) you [...]

From:  Me Dear Sir / Ma’am, New post has been scheduled for next week. Please accept our humble apologies for slow updates. We are attempting to pay internet bills and coffee as soon as possible, you know times are bad. In the meantime, we hope that the strippers we have sent over to your house [...]

Watch the clip, enjoy it deeply, and know that I love you all but I’m too busy to play ball right now.