I am sure you all awesome readers know Facebook. It’s that website where you go and try to put up a funny status message so people comment on it or telling people how many times you shit. Or you play games and tell people how awesome you are. Or how many banks you robbed. Or which handsome actor or pretty actress you look like. Or you accumulate 27  trillion friends so your news feed is on a constant loop to make you feel more important.

The first thing that I hate about Facebook is the “Poke”. The concept behind Poke sounded to me like an incredibly retarded idea. If I want to poke someone, I’ll do it in real life. Another thing I hate bout Facebook is the retarded application notice. Those notice basically sends a message to someone telling them that you did something with them. For example, “Nin Lau Bu has robbed a bank with you”. No no no no Nin Lau Bu, I am innocent, I didn’t rob shits.

Those applications in Facebook can be addictive. Exactly a couple of months ago I was addicted to MobWars. I know some of you dudes are playing Mafia Wars, it’s almost the same concept. I couldn’t stop playing. Or rather, I just didn’t want to. I was staying up nites and not doing my work when I should have been, robbing banks, smuggling weapons, dealing drugs, attacking other mobsters, killing people for bounties. I was determined to be the number one. The funny thing is, I was actually recruiting total strangers, psychos and rapists to be in my mob. Some of these kiddos are really nasty, they intend to be the number one bad ass and they’ll leave you notes like “yo yo yo mamamia let’s dominate the fuxing world!” or “ay yo trip! let’s throw some shits on this biatch” and some other lame shits. Even until now, I still get names like “Really Gangsta Nigga” sending me friend request with a note saying “Mobwars motherfuxer!, add me!”.

Almost everyone I know is on Facebook, even my friend’s father is on Facebook. Luckily mine is not. Imagine your father who is on your Facebook and makes comments on your drunk photos like “I think I need to teach you about the birds and the bees.” If my parents were on Facebook, I would die. They don’t even know about my blog and I prefer to keep it that way.

Another funny shits bout Facebook is your relationship status. Mine is “Single” and I got this friend who had his relationship status set as “It’s Complicated” which prompted his girlfriend to write on his wall, “What the hell do you mean it’s complicated?”. God bless.

But of course, there are wonderful things about Facebook. I had a recent training and everyone had out their cameras. The next morning I was tagged in about one million photos. Facebook has also reunited me with old friends, old school mates and colleagues.

I strongly believe Facebook is the only thing that will survive the apocalypse, along with MobWars and cockroaches. And I hope Facebook reunites me with my rich twin brother I never knew about.