Open Up And Say AAaaahhhhh

It seems I haven’t done any bitch slapping in a while. After giving it some thought for 5 minutes, I hereby present you the abridged version of 10 people ( in no particular order ) I wanna bitch slap. And in case if you think they are cool and I’m not, I’ll add you to my bitch slap list as well.

1) Cristiano Ronaldo

The first slap goes to this monkey. I have no doubts he is a fantastic, world class, brilliant footballer. I respect his football skills but not his personalities. Remember what he did to his own team mate Rooney in World Cup?

Sorry MU fans, but I gotta slap him. This monkey is such a traitor. And oh, a diver. *PIAK*

2) Robinho

The second slap goes to another good footballer, Mr. Robinho – the money grabbing cunt. This dude is such a whiner and betrayer, he has no passion for football. I mean yah money is one of the factor but loyalty and passion play a bigger role than money. Just look at the time he went to Real Madrid and then the rumors of him playing for Chelsea and he ended up playing for big spending Man City. What? You wanna win title with Man City? Dude, get real, you are going after the money and look at where you wanna go now. Barcelona. He’s a skillful player but not his personality. Double slap for this monkey *PIAK PIAK*

3) Michael Owen

Betrayer! He just needs to be slapped. Multiple times. A Liverpool product and now playing for our biggest rival Manchester United. What more can I say? *PIAKKKKK*

4) Britney Spears

She is a classic example of a slappable face. She loves to add in the kena-fux voice when she sings, “aaahh…ahhh…”, I don’t know why, probably she thinks it adds character or something. Anyway, *PIAAAAAAAKKK*

5) Angelina Jolie

Slap her for not returning all my calls. Slap on the ass *PIAKKKK*

6) Our Government

I could slap them forever, seriously. One classic example is the petrol price. It’s insanity. When I become the Prime Minister I’m going to make all vehicles run on peanut sauce because I know like 2 people that actually eat that stuff and the rest is just rotting away on supermarket shelves around Malaysia. Lets put it to good use. So remember to vote for me. Beside petrol, I think you guys can figure out the rest of the shit. The corruption, the ISA, the police, the politicians/ministers, the list is just too fuxing long. *PIAK* for myself, *PIAK* for the people, *PIAK* for my family, *PIAK* for my friends, *PIAK* for all the readers, *PIAK* for the stray dogs outside my house, *PIAK* *PIAK* PIAK*.

7) Prince

This douche bag has created the worst music ever. Thanks Prince for making the greatest gay drunken song of all time. I would like to slap this fuxer in the face 75 or 76 times.

Steven Lim

Look into my eyes and tell if you don’t wanna slap him. I just have to slap this dumbshit in the face. I know he’s trying to look smart but dude, export and import aren’t the same thing. *PIAKKKKKKKKKKKKK* and a big fux you!

9) The dude who jogs in front of my house every morning.

This dude has been running around my house area for the past 20 years or so and until today I still cannot figure out where he stays. I don’t hate him, I am just jealous of him. He’s got such a strict discipline, determination and passion to run every morning. I can’t run more than a mile without seeing a light and hearing the voice of God and I sure as hell am not athletic (unless sitting on my couch and watching football counts as athletic). *PIAK* on my own face, you have my respect Sir. Hey wait a min, I am supposed to slap him.

10) Superman

Yeah, no kidding. Superman has pretty much a ruined career, because every fuxing time I see him on screen I’ll be thinking, “Can’t trust him! That’s Sylar! Kill him now or it’s gonna get worse!!!”. I mean come on dude, wearing a red undie saving the world? And I so wanted to slap the rest of the dudes in the Justice League ( or the Chronic Masturbators ) in the face but since I limited myself to only ten people, I’ll focus my attention on him. *PIAK* for red undies!