Hey Santa! I am so excited now, tomorrow is Christmas!
So what’s up Santa? Have not seen you for a year, things must be tough. Anyway, just a quick update, I wanted to let you know that I have been a very good boy this year. I didn’t look at any boobie pictures, stopped touching myself and I helped those who are in need. Some king just died and his cousin needed my help and promised to repay me half a million dollars for my bank account information, which I sent of course, because I’m not an idiot. But just how the hell am I supposed to contact him now?
I heard he’s in Nigeria.
Well Santa, I must say I was very disappointed last Christmas. Dude, I was hoping for a million dollar and a naked Angelina Jolie but I ended up with some cards and weird pills. But no worries dude, last year has been pretty good from the point of view of having people to bounce things off and just as importantly have fun with. As a consequence I have been thinking about this very new Christmas wish.
1. I still want a naked Angelina Jolie
2. and my one fuxing million dollar, IN CASH! UK POUND!
3. I can’t figure out what I wanna buy now. All you have to do is email me your name and credit card info. I’ll figure out from there.
4. I heard Facebook is cool but how does it interact with Japanese schoolgirls? Send me a manual please or I’ll poke you in Facebook! 300 times!
5. A new Michael Jackson song.
6. A one-on-one dead match cage fight with Bruce Lee. I’ll show him who’s the daddy.
7. My fart smells like Hugo Boss perfume.
8. World peace – Jay Chou stops singing like a chicken.
9. Forrest Gump 2
10. I wish I could write funny blog, make everyone laugh and love it. Not in a gay way.
So there you go Santa, that pretty much summarises my Christmas wish for now. See ya tomorrow, peace out.