Open Up And Say AAaaahhhhh

Archives

Mama Boy Loves Dentist

I’m not afraid of much but when I was small, there is one thing that scares the shit out of me everytime I think about it. I know that it’s something I will probably have to face in about 15 or 20 years and I am hoping by that time, I will have accepted it. [...]

Sleepy Dude Doing His Trick

I was going to tell you all about the computer shop visit I had yesterday with my cheap modem who got struck by lightning and how I paid 100 bucks for another stupid modem. What a fuxing rip off. Unless my friend’s dog shits 100 carat diamond for the next two weekends that was totally [...]

I Almost Pwned Him

It was a chess tournament at my high school library. Me and Donz were representing our school for this event. Long story short, I couldn’t remember exactly all the details but somehow me and Donz got into an argument in the library. The argument erupted into it’s climax when we both started yelling at each [...]

Dogs Are Not Man’s Best Friend

I don’t really jog, only once in a blue moon mainly because there are many stray asshole dogs around my neighborhood. And when I do jog, I love to run all the way from my house to my primary school which is approximately 1km away from my house. There is this small roundabout like-stadium path [...]

I Shit You Not, This Is My First Innocent Kiss

My parents couldn’t decide on a name so they introduced me as “baby” for the first few days of my life. I sometimes have flashbacks when I’m at the bar and all the ladies are coming up and saying, “Hey Baby”. I always want to ask them how they know that story but I’m too [...]

When Sweet Turns Sour, That’s When A Woman Says Fux Off

When you’ve been blogging for a certain period of time you hit the No More Ideas wall. It’s kind of like when you go on date number five with someone you really like and realize that you burned through all of your good stories on dates one through four and that you better distract her [...]

Kick Ass Fighting Fish

NOTE: This is very much a boy post. I apologize in advance to all of the lovely ladies who may not find a brief discussion of how awesome it is to see fighting fish in action, seeing them kick each other’s ass particularly interesting. The Siamese fighting fish (Betta splendens), also known as the “beta [...]

Watching Porn With Families

My dad has four brothers and two sisters, my dad is the eldest. When my grandparents were still around, all these relatives used to visit us on weekend. I’m usually excited for this kinda meeting, since it is an opportunity for me to sit down together with families, have a great time, share our experiences [...]

The Day I Got My First Porn Magazine

I was in Form 3 and one day after school, my friend borrowed me one of his most prized possessions. A PLAYBOY magazine. Obtaining a porn magazine was always a problem and it was an adult title that was tantalizingly unavailable to kids like us. So when someone willing to borrow me, I could never [...]

I Feel Like An Asshole ( Self Motivation Post )

I think I’m on my period today. I can’t really think of another explanation for why I’m feeling like this now. Like, I feel like crap, I think I have compulsions that are out of my control, I don’t really want to live but at the same time I can’t die and I feel like [...]

Karma Is A Bitch

Some time ago, I was watching a live telecast football match with some of my ex colleagues at his apartment. You know when a group of football fans get together it involves a lot of hoo-ha and shouting during the match. And a lot of cursing too, “Oi shoot the fuxing ball la! wallow eh!”. [...]

Thai Girls Don’t Dig Me

This is another post about my trip to Bangkok and I promise this will be the last post on this subject. If you’ve been to Bangkok or at least heard some stories about it, you know why men brand them as “paradise“. Like every tourist destination in Thailand, Bangkok has a flourishing scene of bar [...]

I Used To Be Awesome

Have you ever lost count or clueless on what day it is? I do know how many planets there are in the solar system ( eight rite? ) or how many players in a football match but sometimes I just don’t know what day it is. When I started to work during my early age, [...]

Quite Jia Lat

Last nite after I took my shower, I rushed out to the door in a bit of panic. I’m full of shits and always go slow. Once I factor in the washing my hair, cleaning my ass, shaving, washing my armpit, nose picking, choosing woah-what-a-cool-shirt time and the annual hunt for my wallet, handphone, money [...]

My Experience With Ahkuah In Bangkok

I must prepare you, in advance, for what you are about to read. It is my little encounter with ahkuah in Bangkok BUT no one including myself can prove the identity or gender of this unidentified object. I know it’s annoying but I’ll let you judge. Last nite, my Mongolian ( his Dad is American [...]